Its been far, far too long since I posted here, but yeah. Since many readers have fled and this might as well be a desert, I shall gladly use this space for some soul searching and emotions pouring.

I have absolutely no idea what to do with you. Ive been tripping all over the place ever sine this thing between us started and for too many times, Ive felt like a little kid. You and your world of wisdom scares me at times and I find my stuttering to keep up. Here I am trying to figure out what my future holds and there you are, with your future planned out perfectly. While Im still stressing out on the minute things, you have already stomped forward towards better things. Too often I feel like Im begging for things to be less terrifying and trying to figure out what meaning lies behind your fanciful limericks. Cowaring with the new infomations I receive each day and wondering what all these really holds for us, I ponder about the likelihood of ' us' even existing. Saying it feels funny, like it doesnt belong. And yet, while these all sounds like Im giving up, theres this huge part of me that wants more. Wants to make it right. It does scare me to know that you are only willing to give, if I am. And that is also the samethings that makes me want to give. Im confused, I am. If I wasnt, I wouldnt be here.

I just wish, for maybe 1 moment, to be able to see whats ticking inside of you. A large part of me believes that will help.

love, the elven one.