Today hasn't been the greatest day around. I'm beaten and exhausted but I'm not ready to give up. I'm so upset to be constantly compared to someone else when all Ive been trying to do to challenge myself to beat my personal best. I didn't do napfa today to beat other, I did it to challenge myself, to push myself more but all Ive got was comments such as " Oh, --- is better." "Go Higher/lower" etc.
Why? Why treat me so different from that long legged girl. In terms of scores and points, we were on the same par. In fact, if you were to look at overall, I was better. Full marks, what more are you asking for from me? Why am I still taken as the replacement when I did much better didn't boast, unlike certain individual who claimed that a particular station was their best but did badly. I shut my mouth and did my best. I'm not worse than them so why am I treated as if I am? I know I'm good at sports and Ive been doing my best to prove it. It seems now that it's still isn't enough for you. I'm upset and enervated and I'm really starting to see that there is no point in all this anymore.

My ankle hurts and what hurts more is knowing that it wasn't worth it. I didnt hurt myself on purpose but if it was an injury cause while playing for a team that well deserves it and treats me with respect, I would surely not feel like such a loser.

And you know what? It didn't help knowing that the boy i was falling head over heels for was 'attracted' to another girl from the team.

It has been an awful day but tomorrow will be better.