School past by very fast yet again. its so fast, you cannot afford to blink!

But, thats not what i logged in to talk about. Im here because... im really really stressed out. Well, the talks by Mrs Sng and Ms Lim and Mr chen and yada yada really got into me. Its like a in your face, take it or leave it sort of thing where well, i took it really seriously. I know that there is only about 49 school days left and that scares me really badly. I cannot afford to fall sick or anything and i seriously need to start revision.

Doing assesment only when i feel like it or after i finish my homework is really not right. I have started revision, which gives me a head start from those who still shake their head when i ask if they have started studying, but... heres what i found out these few days. Rarely anybody studied for their PSLE. guess what, i studied really really hard. And i only got an average score. Those who hadnt studied didnt do as well, but they still got scores that were alright. That scares me. It makes me realise that i have to work doubly hard if i wanted good scores because every one around is smarter. And guess what, doubly hard = twice as stress out as i am currently, and i honestly think that this stress that im facing is really beyond my limits.

Im not even pmsing, its not even the time and im already having severe mood swings and everything. Im honestly terrified, the battle has yet been half fought and im already bruised and battered, what is left in me isnt strong enough to face the remaining battles and i dont think i can face it anymore.

I need someone to talk to, to get advices from. Ive considered options like speaking to the teachers about it, and i did try it out by just asking about DSA (which, i dont think im eligible because netball hasnt won some atas national coompetition. and i dont have a freaking leadership position that is recognised.) and guess what, it makes me more stressed out. Ive even considered knocking on the doors of Mr Raja, but i dont think skipping that IJC open house that day would have made a good impression of me on him. Friends? Oh, i dont think so. People telling me they havent studied makes me feel even worse, plus the ones who actually care are facing their very own battles, who am i to burden them? And even hyy who lives 10 stories below isnt being a very good listener. It seems that i become the listener we are tgt, which is really really weird since the only reason why i look for him is because im feeling extremely vexed. argh.

honestly speaking, i dont know if i can do this anymore. And if this is just god damn o levels, what am i going to do about A levels? Should i just forget about it? And hwa chong o hwa chong, why do you have to make yourself so damn exclusive. and i still dont understand why people tell me o levels is for your own good.