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I think this picture is the only one that can describe how im feeling now. Dread. Dread the exam. However, on the bright sunny side, IT'S A FRIDAY~ yay, so yup, im feeling a bit happier, and theres tonnes of activities after the stupid stupid math extra lessons. it's stupid because its on a friday, in case you're planning to snitch on me.

Anyway, im proud of myself for not shedding a single tear. For what? Well, for appropriate reasons, appropriate times and me. I convinced myself and I stayed strong, I held my breathe and I remembered what was more important. And lastly, it's probably all for the best because I can stay focused focused FOCUSED! And I wont be distracted by what I wouldnt be seeing anymore.
Think this is vague? Smack yourself. I hate the word vague.

Oh, I so badly wanted to give yihui a hug before her graduation. But i didnt on tuesday cause we played netball and I was shy. And I didnt on wed cause well, i didnt see her. I wanted to hug her cause, believe it or not, I learned a lot from her even though she nagged even the last time she played netball @ rs. And that's all I have t say before someone gets too happy, right? *nudge.

On the brighter note, I said bye to azura, zubaidah and hawa, which is actually pretty strange cause i never spoke to them before, really. And strangest of all, I was actually hoping i'll get to say bye. Haha. Things dawn on you when you realise you'll prolly never see them again. well, at least i realised a lot a lot of things.

Anyway, farlyanna bte ramli. The fact that your boyfriend graduated is a good news, so you shouldn't be sad. So it means you cant share the bottle of apple juice, but it doesnt mean you ain't gonna see him anymore, right? So, dont be sad, smile! Cause Asw and I are here, and I'll give you the greatest hug if you ask for it, or I'll give you if I want to just like how you did when you saw me staring into space after that thing happened. :D And and, you'll still see him, talk to him and get called monkey. Alright? NOW STOP THINKING OF AZROY AND STUDY, if you are reading my blog and thinking of him right now.

shitttttttttttttz. I arranged tuition on sat even tho im going out with my sis. DIE.

Oh, the wall in front of my study table is full of notes. Hahaha, i took a photo of it but it's gone. But anyway, IM STUDYING AND I KNOW WHAT PEOPLE DO TO MANAGE COAST! AND HOW TO SAVE THE AMAZON RAINFOREST AND HOW TO MANAGE RIVER CHANNELS. I KNOW WHAT CLIMATES TREES NEED TO GROW.

I KNOW G-E-O-G-R-A-P-H-Y. :D and thats enough for tmr. :D

Knowing that you're walking towards a brighter future makes me happy. Knowing that Im not gonna see you almost ever again made me feel strange, that someone I once had everyday would be gone forever. But it's all for the best, for you and I. No, the word "and" does not suit you or me. Theres no and. Theres an end. When I braced myself to meet you that day, my heart palipitated so hard, i had to remember to breathe and I had to stop myself from shaking. Keeping all that back when you walked towards me was scary, I never knew that I could hide all that feeling. I was so afraid, I thought I'll crumble. I was so afraid, but you really didnt need to know it, so I took a deep breathe in, put on a smile, covered the nervousness and how scared I was and told you those words, that I hope you heard and will actually do it. Perhaps farlyanna was right, I can be strong. I just need to remember how painful it will be if Im not. And thats not difficult. It's like having your biggest wound prod open again and again. That's how it feels like.

Because you'll never read this, I posted it.

love, px 10:36 PM