"If you gave somebody your heart and they died, did they take it with them? Will you be left with a hole inside that couldn't be filled forever?"

I'm pondering long and hard about that sentence, and much other things. Oh, how i wish i was a little kid, like those cute kids from my mum's ex workplace, Kinderland.

"They're at this stage where they dont have any woes and what not. All that would bother them would be "He took my toy!" that kinda thing. And its like they are so adorable everyone loves them. How nice! (:"

[EDITED POST]

If I were to list out every weird character about me, I would use up a lot of blog space, but then again, who’s gonna care?

1. I don’t blog what I write and don’t write about what I blog.
2. I’m super tolerable if I want to.
3. I’m not someone who can talk on the phone on and on naturally.
4. I thought about this post while trying to fall asleep.
5. I think twice as normal when I walk alone.
6. I regret half the things I do about relationships.
7. I don’t talk to my boyfriend as much as when im friends with him.
8. I can love the person a lot but find it hard to tell him.
9. I dont think I know too many guys.
10. I find it hard to talk to my boyfriend.
11. I bitch to peklian more then I bitch to anyone else.
12. I talk to peklian more then I ever speak to her in school.
13. I feel honoured whenever I see my name on someone’s blog – duh, I really meant nice things about me.
14. I only started to get loads of As after prelims in primary school.
15. I think I’m starting too many sentences with ‘I’.
16. I like to re-enact what I see from a movie.
17. I think being emo is pathetic but I get very emo when im alone.
18. Half of the time I ‘forget’ what im saying is cause I’m thinking too much.
19. When I take more then ten minutes in a toilet, it really mean that im thinking too much.
20. I don’t think im tomboy.
21. I think I scare aizal a lot with my sudden emo'ness.
22. I like to think up weird dares.
23. I think Priscilla really suits the chicken dance.
24. Sometimes when I do something, I don’t know what I’m actually doing.
25. I don’t think im thin.
26. I seriously think im too short.
27. Plastic lizards are really squishy.
28. Squishy things scares me.
29. I think Mr Goh really looks like William Hunk.
30. IMO, Ms Milhan is very philosophical.
31. I stand up for my friend’s right but rarely for mine.
32. The first friends I make are normally shorter then me.
33. I know JunZhi since I was a little girl in primary 1.
34. I normally don’t like people with the first impression, and then become very good friends with them later on.
35. People which I normally don’t dislike with the first looks normallty becomes my very good friends.
36. Im recently closer to those who I wasn’t close to in primary school.
37. I don’t find Edmund too bad. He proved me wrongggggg.
38. I like to do quizzes people do at blogs, but I'm just too lazy to do it.
39. I have more girlfriends then guy friends but my close friends are guys.
40. Conscience is a really big thing to me.
41. I’ve organize most of the 6wisdomers gathering that are successful.
42. When Im bored, I start acting really nuts.
43. When it gets really hot, I get sleepy.
44. I feel like puking whenever my parents drive.
45. I eat a lot .
46. I eat even when I'm not hungry - it’s a habit
47. During the Cca selection, most of the cca groups gave me high marks – except for band.
48. I havent forgotten about him.
49. I still get upset whenever I think of him.
50. This is the 50^th weird random stuff about me, but there’s still more.
51. I think there is more weirdrandom stuff about me then there is hyper stuff about me.
52. Some of the weird random stuff here are thought out overnight.
53. I get upset when he doesn’t reply my smses.
54. I eat ice cream real messily but realized it only recently [ ok, fine, not so recently.]
55. I cant pronounce properly with my braces on.
56. I think this post is really embarrassing.
57. I think I’m really thick skinned.
58. I apologize whenever I know that im in the wrong or else my conscience would kill me.
59. I can get really emo suddenly.
60. I just listed out 60 weird random stuffs about me.
61. There’s more, but I shall leave it for another day.
62. I decided to continue on this post cause I'm really bored and I just can't study.
63. I recently became a serious coke addict. I started to get really anxious without coke.
64. I keep eating when I'm really upset
65. I am starting to cry more often then before.
66. On Emo days like today; 29th sept, I cry even easier.
67. Although I eat when I am hungry, I dont eat when I am.
68. I don't usually blog about what happened on that day, but yet, stuff that i thought of.
69. Emoing is SO not me in school, but I'm rather sad looking at home. - I think that's why my parents Father always call me to smile more and stuff.
70. I do things without thinking, and i regret after that, and even though i apologise, many times, i still regret doing it in the first place.
71. I don't see what's wrong with Egg, but sometimes, i still make mean jokes about her. [MY CONSCIENCE. ROARS~]
72. I stood up for Egg once, but i gave up when Debbie and Zoey insisted that there was something wrong with her, and that they dont feel guilty for saying it, I just didn't see the point.

Random things are funny. Example :

Two person talking

"What's the homework for today?"

"I like red"

You've gotta admit it, it IS funny. Anyway, random phrase copied from Jay Ying.

Haven't thought of anything else yet, just really distracted la, uh, the new edited are the ones that don't have proper aligning with the top.

[END]

YOU ARE A BIG IDIOT.

But.. I wanna be the one who says.

'But you're my big idiot.'

x3

Im not gonna reveal who I'm sulking because of or who i am pouting because of. I'm also not gonna reveal who I'm emoing about while carrying my boulster around the house of. I'm not gonna reveal who I want to runaway to wait under the block for, Im not gonna reveal who made me decide to be independent. This is why I'm weird, this is why I am eccentric, this is why I'm getting yelled for what i didn't do, but this is also something I've promised not to give up, after 2 years of not cherishing. This.. Might be the biggest mistake I've ever made and will regret for the rest of my stupd life, BUT this, is something, I'm not gonna to 'realise' and correct.

Maybe, I might even start acting like the person, maybe I shall even stop being myself, I dont know. I'll never know, till one day, when I can't take it anymore, when I decide I've gotta have it, when i decide, Peixin is getting too lala, when Peixin...

.

.

Can't stand being Peixin anymore.

"Oh nono, we are all used to it. "
*Runs around in circles. *

My brother's PSP just fell on my leg, it has a really bulky plastic
covering, i feel like crying, really.

It really hurts. :(

HA HA.

cropped from.

yeah, i was really bored.:D

AFTER EXAM
went home to get some forgotten papers.After that, went to supposingly catch movie with ehhem, but the movie has ended? As in, they stopped showing the movie, so like before, we walked around, asking each other where we wanted to go. Obviously, it came to nothing, walked in, walked out, walked in again, and he started talking about Yoshinoya, hence, knew he was 'hinting', so we went to Yoshinoya, and he ate, and i looked. HAH. He kept asking me to eat, but i didnt. I looked. :D Haha, but in the end, after insisting so super duper long, after he sent me home, i got hungry. When mummy bought Yoshinoya home, which luckily, we left before she went, i didnt finish my food.

Good huh?

Anyway, the shoe, not done colouring though.

It look kinda weird here.

Even my braces are P-U-R-P-L-E :D

Purple IS pretty, you gotta admit it uh!

I was trying to sound like Xiaxue, the bimbo side, did it work?

Alright~ Before anyone else gets bored.

Anyway! Shall talk about yesterday, cause i cant talk about tomorrow cause tomorrow haven't happened yet, i can talk about today, but i don't want to yet.

I KNOW, CRAP~

Uh, CD lesson was first, considered okay. The Santa Monica song really started to piss me off. Savage Garden has got to learn how to SPEAK PROPERLY, or should i say, SING properly? He seemed like he was mumbling. GAH, i say, GAH!

The rules about blogging? Who actually follows them? I mean, for instance, Xiaxue is like a BIG deal blogger, yet she criticizes a lot of things! Even Kim Ah Joong-an used to be fat and ugly but now hot and chio Korean actress. Pek lian doesn't follow the rules, Melvin doesn't, and god, NO I DON'T/WON'T.

SEE! I'm not a kind blogger, i think you all just have to deal with it, like my disclaimer says, I'm not a nice girl. I'm nice SOMETIMES, wait, i don't know. Deal With It.

Science made me really high, the Potassium Promegenate which was PURPLE. Some people is going to start wondering why my whole post is not purple, reason? I'll get sick of it. Accidentally made the chemical [I'm too lazy to start spelling it again.] 'spill' inside the water, so the thing started swirling real prettily. So, I started jumping around, saying " wee~ pretty purple!" and " purple, purple, purple!" and i started to doodle on my new notebook, i wrote the word purple in blue, Win Yew asked why, reason? I didn't have a purple marker, how ironic. So, i started asking people what was the colour. :D I tried to change the blue into purple with a pink highlighter, but it wouldn't work. Then, Win Yew started making the squeaky sound of the slow, spinning fan, and then suddenly he said 'bang!' which meant the fan dropping on his head. I laughed my ass off suddenly at that, it scared my group members. Then, i illustrated it. It was passed around, started by me, of course and then, people Lolled at it.

Next was ART. I SAW VERY VERY PRETTY PURPLE [ actually it said pink] PAINT! I obviously got high, and started to play with it. 0.o I know, the horrors. Of course, I didn't scoop it up with my bare hands and played with it, i pour it around the cover and the bottle. It was LOLL. Then a tiny bit spilled out and it got on my hand, so i started to paint tiny dots on random people faces. :DDDDD

PURPLE FUN.

Had to draw a shoe and design it, mine.. was emo. :D Done on purpose, as in it was kinda, punk rock. Haha, shall take a photo of it when it's completed, someone has to remind me. XinLei said his front part was 17 cm long. 0.O i said "what?! your front part is 17cm long?!" loud, and JiaHui laughed at it for the longest time, wonder what she was thinking. Heh Heh.

Maths was a bore, i love talking to YI LI SHA though, erm, i'm talking about Elysia. Chinese readers, be a little creative, you'll understand(:

Randomising again
♠Spade.8♠™ says:
=)
♠Spade.8♠™ says:
say la
peixin (: says:
la

AND

aizal (: says:
can you please
say something
peixin (: says:
something
aizal (: says:
you're
just like myfriend,the guy with pink phone
aizal (: says:
it freaks me
out
peixin (: says:
lol.
aizal (: says:
i meant the lameness
peixin (: says:
great!


andand, at the same time

peixin (: says:
scared?
♠Spade.8♠™ says:
woooo
♠Spade.8♠™
says:
very


VS

aizal (: says:
you are so scary

how alike.

*looks at the vegetable seller*, and that’s how this post is born.

Have you wondered how some people have been living for years, doing the same thing everyday?

Like how the hawker manages the store for 90 over years, for generations.

They never get an higher pay, nor do they get promotion, for they whole life, they mend their store, making sure this and that is in place.

What about our generation? When we all become adults?

I know, most of us, or rather ¼ is most probably going to all be in some high class society business/ work.

All in air- conditioned offices, working their might out / or not to get that higher post, higher pay. What happens to the hawker stores, the wet markets?

The pasar malams and the old road stores?

What happens to the traditional kuehs?

Anyone wondered?

“For this 9 months, no matter how selfish she had been, how unfair she had been to me, i never told her, i never scolded her, i never change my attitude to her.”

Come to think of it, I’ve never ever blown up at you, because all this while, I’ve been trying to be patient and kind, to think it your way and make sure that I would be a good friend to you.

When you said things that were horribly hurtful, all I did was to look away and keep quiet for a while.

I’ve never screamed into your face about how frustrated I was, and did what I really wanted to do – scream like a little girl and start tugging all your hair out of your head.

When you said straight into my face ‘ eeyer, flirty’ when all I did was to tell you what you wanted, I only blinked away my tears and look at whatever that I could see. I didn’t scream, I didn’t shout, and I absolutely did not throw any tantrum.

When you said stuffs like ‘come on la, who likes you?’ and ‘nobody likes you as a girl’ I didn’t walk away, I didn’t retort and I didn’t kick up a fuss about what I think about you, I was controlling and bottling every single shit up, once again.

You say the most hurtful stuffs and do the most selfish things as a supposingly bestfriend and I’ve never been so kind, patient and nice to any of my friends in my whole life, until you.

Sometimes I close my eyes when the lump in my throat starts to form and I think, ‘why? Why? Why am I so nice to her when she isn’t to me? I don’t have to be nice to her, I’m not such a nice girl, I.. I.. I really do want too scream at her.. so why am I keeping quiet? Why am I keeping it to myself? Why.. am I not complaining to Derrick, to Peklian, to Laraine, to everyone else who treats me better then you do?’

What about for example today? You’ve been selfish again. If you really wanted to enjoy yourself in the lesson, then listen to what the teacher has got to say, and not depend on someone who was already feeling really horrible after being sick for more then a week to tell you. And when that person told you by telling you where to run to and all, you scream at her saying that she had been showing off about how well she passes, how well she catches and all she had been doing for the past half an hour was just being bossy ‘calling us to run here and there’. Oh, if that was what I’ve been doing for the past half an hour, I would apologize, but NO. For the past half an hour which you have been selfishly thinking that I was being bossy, I was trying to not faint under the hot sun and telling a bunch of people who hadnt bothered to pay attention exactly where to go and what to do, exactly according to what the teacher had instructed.

Forget about that, what about when I was dealing with a break up that caused me to be so upset? Where were you as a best friend? Oh, eating your fishball noodles. Was that what a friend, or rather a best friend was supposed to do?

What about you always saying Im a tomboy and that I’m fat? What about all the things I do for you that you treat like I ought to do? I didn’t have to put up with your selfish attitude, or you unfair treatment alrights.

What about last Monday when I was feeling so horrible with aa headache and an incoming fever during literature class? All you said was ‘aiyah, where got so easily get fever one?’ and all you did was to carry on thinking about yourself, again. And when I told you I was down with a high fever that night, you hypocritically said ‘see, I tell you rest already, tell you don’t go for netball already what.’ But I was sure you didn’t say that, you had said ‘ ey, don’t go for netball leh, go do homeecons la, wahlau, later I have to do by myself’. And that was already after I singlehandedly finished all the research on the nutritional values and all.

Then on Tuesday when I missed school, you didn’t help me get my homework, you didn’t help me copy notes, you didn’t even call to ask how I was, but that was okay, I managed to get my homework because of Jay ying.

When I missed school for two days straight, did you bother to call to ask how I was? Or maybe help me copy notes? NO! all you worried about was the practical and if you had to do it solo. What about me? I felt like vomiting and I had to cook, all because I didnt want you to do it alone.

Yeah, so much for being tolerant towards you.

i like the way the water enlarges everything. imagine sparsh in water.

ribena anyone?

anyway, see what i mean about the quality?

ive been thinking, while eating cake about what derrick said about his soulmate.
SUPER COOL LA.
hence, i concluded that for me, a perfect boyfriend would ..
know how i feel just through a few sentence .
would know what im thinking just by looking.
sing to me at random moments and let me sleep on his chest when im tired.
be able to make me laugh like no one else could and we would argue about silly things and then make up.
satisfy my food craving and never lose his temper at my crazy enthics and be there for me when i do badly for exams and get emo attacks.
make me a cake on my birthday and then kiss me on my forehead.
but most of all, i want someone who would be my bestfriend and would never ever break my heart.

(: