“For this 9 months, no matter how selfish she had been, how unfair she had been to me, i never told her, i never scolded her, i never change my attitude to her.”

Come to think of it, I’ve never ever blown up at you, because all this while, I’ve been trying to be patient and kind, to think it your way and make sure that I would be a good friend to you.

When you said things that were horribly hurtful, all I did was to look away and keep quiet for a while.

I’ve never screamed into your face about how frustrated I was, and did what I really wanted to do – scream like a little girl and start tugging all your hair out of your head.

When you said straight into my face ‘ eeyer, flirty’ when all I did was to tell you what you wanted, I only blinked away my tears and look at whatever that I could see. I didn’t scream, I didn’t shout, and I absolutely did not throw any tantrum.

When you said stuffs like ‘come on la, who likes you?’ and ‘nobody likes you as a girl’ I didn’t walk away, I didn’t retort and I didn’t kick up a fuss about what I think about you, I was controlling and bottling every single shit up, once again.

You say the most hurtful stuffs and do the most selfish things as a supposingly bestfriend and I’ve never been so kind, patient and nice to any of my friends in my whole life, until you.

Sometimes I close my eyes when the lump in my throat starts to form and I think, ‘why? Why? Why am I so nice to her when she isn’t to me? I don’t have to be nice to her, I’m not such a nice girl, I.. I.. I really do want too scream at her.. so why am I keeping quiet? Why am I keeping it to myself? Why.. am I not complaining to Derrick, to Peklian, to Laraine, to everyone else who treats me better then you do?’

What about for example today? You’ve been selfish again. If you really wanted to enjoy yourself in the lesson, then listen to what the teacher has got to say, and not depend on someone who was already feeling really horrible after being sick for more then a week to tell you. And when that person told you by telling you where to run to and all, you scream at her saying that she had been showing off about how well she passes, how well she catches and all she had been doing for the past half an hour was just being bossy ‘calling us to run here and there’. Oh, if that was what I’ve been doing for the past half an hour, I would apologize, but NO. For the past half an hour which you have been selfishly thinking that I was being bossy, I was trying to not faint under the hot sun and telling a bunch of people who hadnt bothered to pay attention exactly where to go and what to do, exactly according to what the teacher had instructed.

Forget about that, what about when I was dealing with a break up that caused me to be so upset? Where were you as a best friend? Oh, eating your fishball noodles. Was that what a friend, or rather a best friend was supposed to do?

What about you always saying Im a tomboy and that I’m fat? What about all the things I do for you that you treat like I ought to do? I didn’t have to put up with your selfish attitude, or you unfair treatment alrights.

What about last Monday when I was feeling so horrible with aa headache and an incoming fever during literature class? All you said was ‘aiyah, where got so easily get fever one?’ and all you did was to carry on thinking about yourself, again. And when I told you I was down with a high fever that night, you hypocritically said ‘see, I tell you rest already, tell you don’t go for netball already what.’ But I was sure you didn’t say that, you had said ‘ ey, don’t go for netball leh, go do homeecons la, wahlau, later I have to do by myself’. And that was already after I singlehandedly finished all the research on the nutritional values and all.

Then on Tuesday when I missed school, you didn’t help me get my homework, you didn’t help me copy notes, you didn’t even call to ask how I was, but that was okay, I managed to get my homework because of Jay ying.

When I missed school for two days straight, did you bother to call to ask how I was? Or maybe help me copy notes? NO! all you worried about was the practical and if you had to do it solo. What about me? I felt like vomiting and I had to cook, all because I didnt want you to do it alone.

Yeah, so much for being tolerant towards you.