they always thought this would last forever..

wanted to say so much, but changed my mind.
it's YOUR bloody fault, not mine.
im not trying to push the blame, but think about it. THINK.
you were the one who called people AIAI. not me, you were the one who went to confess your feelings to another girl while we were still tgt,NOT ME.
you were the bloody one who told HER i was your ex when i wasnt.
the one who went to movies with her and told me it was a friend. you were the one who told me how fcuking happy you were with your 'friend'. the one who asked GIRLS to fight ur battle. yeah, i said it all out, i told every single one who's reading, this time. it's not my fault. as you said, im your EX stead. so guess what? I DONT BLOODY CARE.

you know something? ive been taught since young that never to push the blame, think logically. and you know? the logical thinking that every one has come out with is, this time, it's your fault that you two time, not mine that i got no time, your fault that this as happen and not mine.
if you wanna push the blame, it's easy. you could even blame her parents for giving birth to her, you could blame the principal for accepting her, you could blame your parents for giving birth to you, everything could be of fault. but guess what? THINK. this time, it's YOUR fault. yeah, i typed it out. and i dare say it out.

it's so easy to blame others but find fault with yourself, but mind you, i didnt force you to twotime . neither have i wished for you too. for a matter of fact, i stopped wishing ever since i saw you. i told sean cause it was easier to tell him to ever to tell you. was easier to tell anyone about relationships stuff and anything to do with your boyfriend.for me to say all these had me to fin d my courage that was so deeply hidden, so much to say, yet i never spoke. why? same reasons. you can say i dont have time for you , have you stood in MY point of view? have you thought about how tough it is? how tough it is to have a real boyfriend? how tough it is to juggle 2 cca? how tough it is to pretend you're happy when you're breaking down inside?

how tough it is to put on that fake hyper side of me sometimes when im so fcuking down? do you realise all this? have you thought of why i did all these? i didnt want you to worry, for you to lose sleep and precious time over me when you could be somewhere else.you say you do alot. i know you do. but when you wait for me afer cca like what you do for her, ive told you before, it's okay. im fine alone. i didnt want you to be lonely, whatever JQ said about me not caring, think about it. how much ive kept inside me for so long. the book? yeah, only part was in. half out here. the other part? trying to erase.what else can i do? appear all teary like i really am in front of you and beg you to come back?

one part of you is asking me if i wanna continue, if i wanna take back my words, the other part of you? off with her. im being real nice not mentioning her name here. perhaps everyone know who im talking about who the 'you' im saying. but guess what? i guess you deserve it.
what else do you want me to say? im sorry and please leave her and come back to me? HAH. after what you said today. it'll take a fool to do that.