i found out how hard it is to 'feel better' about the break up.
cause. everyday... i find out things abt him that hurts even more. things he did whn we were still together. and how flirtarious riversidians are.
e.g1 girl Z laid her head on HIS shoulder whn were still tgt.
eg2. right after we broke up.. i saw him flirting.
eg3. though he said he would cry if we broke up.. he dumped me.
e.g4. right after he knew that i said 'uh' to the break up feeling like dying.. he said ' ok. good.'
eg.5 . he goes arnd saying who cute and whos not.
e.g6 . he outran me during the run on fri to spite me on purpose.
eg7. he didnt care a single bit abt me whn we were tgt. including the time i was so much in pain that i was lying on the floor on the verge of tears.
e.g8. the only attention he gave me was only whn sth amusing happened.
SEE. SO MANY EXAMPLES ALREADY. and i still find it hard. one description STUPIDITY.
i cant help it. every one is encouraging me. i thought i was fine. i said i was fine. but whenver i find out another thing abt him. i felt like another dagger thrown by him right through the hearts. it SUCK. SUCKSUCKSUCKSUCKSUCK. i DONT like this. i absolutely DONT. and i thought it would go away. now.. i understand how had danial and junzhi felt whn they were dumped. it's horrible. much worse thn the breakup with edmund. the cbk was nth compared to this. fcuk. it feels horrible. my file.. with your name. everyday.. it stays.. till fri. whn i could not stand it anymore. i tore it up. one by one. with the rage with anger with the hatred. i hate you but i still get hurt over you. and PLEASE. CLEAN MY INITIALS OFF YOUR SHOES. my name.. on your shoes. do you know how sad it is to see your name on someone's shoe esp since that someone dumped me. HELLOS? please. i beg you . DONT TORTURE ME ANYMORE. dont leave any trace of me on your clothes, shoes and action.